Sunday 24 April 2011
The person (or people) that make tears effortlessly fall down your face.
Parents. You hate them, but you always love them. I wish I were older so I'd have the option to leave them forever. But then again, I wish I were younger when I loved them so.
"It is some relief to weep; grief is satisfied and carried off by tears." -Ovid
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Don't worry - when you get older, you'll love them so again.
ReplyDeleteIt's a matter of being able to forgive our parents for being human and for gracelessly falling off the pedestal that we put them on when we were new to the world and didn't know any better.
When we get to be around 30 - or when we become parents ourselves - we look back and realize all our own mistakes and flaws, in spite of our best intentions. That makes it a little easier to recognize that our parents are/were in the same boat. We're all pretty much stumbling along relatively blindly, just trying to do the best we can with what we know and in spite of what we don't know.
Don't feel bad about being critical of them now, though. I mean, give them a break when you can, because they're only human and they feel hurt when criticized, just like you... but being critical of your folks at this point is an important part of becoming an adult, yourself. It's how you separate yourself from them and become an independent person in all your unique glory (and all your unique uncomfortable flaws, which your own children will criticize someday, but that's a different issue).
I think you are already a very interesting person, so the future is looking good...
Eileen, are you a therapist or something? You seem to know what I feel and give lots of good advice which I really appreciate. My parents are very angry people, which means it's in their nature to be angry and also direct anger at anyone, though most of the time it is me. I have learnt by now what never to do and how to avoid their angry bouts, however there are some circumstances which are unavoidable.
ReplyDeleteI actually do look back at my younger self and see actually what great flaws I have. Then I see it in other children of around that age and then realise it was normal to act like so. Though that doesn't forgive me for acting that way.
My parents are old fashioned and very critical unlike many of my friends'. I feel horrible for comparing them, and I will always love them, but I can't help but feel that they could act just a little nicer if they wanted.