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Friday, 22 July 2011

Goodbye year 9, I shall miss you.

It's this time of year again where we have to leave the past year behind us. Today was my last day of school, marking the end of my life as a year 9 student, and also the start of the summer holidays. But why am I not as happy as I have been during previous years? Why do I feel so deflated to have ended school? Why am I not rejoicing and celebrating that I have 6 weeks away from school?

At the start of year 9, I thought it was going to be an uneventful year. At the end of year 9, I'll keep my money on that thought. Sure, things have changed as they always change. I've made new friends and lost the spark with old ones. I've learnt new things and forgotten many a thought. I've changed my mind again and again. I am more accepted in some places and less accepted in others. I now care more about some things and couldn't care less about things I used to be bothered about. I've laughed out loud and cried inside. I've jumped for joy and landed for sorrow. I've fallen in love.

Just kidding about the love one. Just had to include that cliché! :']

Still, time goes on, but that's the problem you see, times goes on TOO FAST. It feels like when you're queuing up for a rollercoaster for about a half hour before getting on a ride that lasts 2 minutes! School days went like that - the lessons each day dragged and dragged, although the weeks seemed to fly by! It finally hit me this week that it was the last week of term. Even today felt like it was a normal school Friday and we'll all see each other the following Monday because it was just the weekend. The thing is, it doesn't feel like I've been at school for long enough this year. This contradicts everything that a teenager should be like. I know I should be happy that school feels so short but I'm not. I'm just not...

I'm not a very rushed person. I prefer to do things slowly and spread tasks out over days so it feels more like I'm doing less. The only times I really rush is when I get up for school (late, like every day) or doing homework (last minute as usual). I don't like feeling like I haven't got enough for my money, enough for my efforts, enough than I usually get. I feel like I've been cheated out of getting everything I possible could've this year. Feel cheated out of school time and memories. I feek cheated by myself.

At the moment, I'm in a phase where I don't want to grow up. Growing up means giving up a lot and losing your childhood. I've only recently regained my childhood back on trend and I'm loving it. Things are quite good for me at the moment - my family is reasonable at the moment, I have friends that care and love me, my education is staying on track, and I know what I want to accomplish. It's a lot to do during the years ahead of me; I hope the future is kind.

But that doesn't mean I'd rather grow up now. Teachers have told me that one of the reasons they became a teacher and came back to school was because they loved it so much. I myself have always loved school. Always.

Though I didn't admit it when I was younger so I'd 'fit in' more. This past year I have learnt not to listen to other people all the time, and that sometimes it's okay to do your own thing and have the people so their pointing and staring. I don't think it will ever stop hurting when people put you down because of what they think is right/not, but you can decide whether their actions affect you or not. I'm the sort of person who gets rather emotional with different sorts of people - I'll explain another day. You'll have to remind me, I think I'm losing my memory a tad.
A picture of me in
a group with other year 9s :']

Happy summer everyone, got to cut this post a bit short because it's like 20 to 12am and I've got to get up pretty early tomorrow. I hope this sends from my phone because the character count from this so far is 3782. That number only includes everything up until that full stop after it. So good night and I hope I will appreciate the holidays tomorrow.

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